10-18-2011

I got my house REALLY clean today! I can’t believe how much more energy I have now that I’m not throwing up all day. I started in my room, then cleaned the girls’ room, the boys’ room, the front room, and the family room. The kitchen was still looking pretty good from Saturday, but I touched it up a little too. No rest for me today!

After that, I made a quick trip to Costco and only bought what we NEEDED. I still somehow spent $200, but honestly that’s WAY better than I normally do, so I was happy with it.

I came home, put all the food away, took a shower, and then sat on the couch waiting for Devun to come home so I could leave for my doctor’s appointment.

Marissa came in and said, “Mom, what is Dad doing? He keeps driving back and forth.” At first I thought she said Devun because Anthony had told me he would be working late.

But sure enough, it was Anthony. He was outside trying to park the trailer in the driveway and kept pulling forward and trying again. It’s a little tricky with two other cars already in the driveway.

He got home just in time to go with me to the doctor. This will probably be his last regular appointment with me besides the ultrasound on November 10th. I seriously cannot wait to find out what this baby is!

I will say, now that I’m finally starting to feel better, I really am beginning to look at the brighter side of things. Hearing the strong heartbeat today brought me so much peace. The doctor said everything sounds great.

I think once I know what this little baby is, I’ll really start bonding more. Being able to think about names and finally look at and buy baby clothes will make it all feel more real.

I’m hoping that as the baby gets bigger, I’ll continue feeling better and actually be able to enjoy this pregnancy a little more. I always thought with my last pregnancy I would soak everything in and enjoy every moment… but honestly, this one has been such a drag so far that it’s definitely helped me KNOW this will be my last.

At the same time, I do feel a little sad that I’ve spent so much of the first half complaining about it.

I’m going to try harder to enjoy it from here on out. I want to take it all in — the little movements, the soccer kicks that will be coming soon, all of it. And honestly, maybe writing all of this down will help too. That way if I ever start feeling sad that this is my last pregnancy, I can come back and remember exactly WHY this is my last… and maybe not feel quite so sad anymore.