8-14-2009 Sammy needed me

Last night was the first night I’ve slept at home in a week. I thought I would be able to rest, but I kept hearing the baby’s oxygen machine beeping in my head—baby is still in the hospital, but my mind just wouldn’t let it go.

I did wake up at 9 and called the NICU. He was feeding at the time, and his next feeding was scheduled for noon. About 45 minutes later, I got a call from the NICU saying Sammy was still crying. He had already eaten 3 oz but wouldn’t settle or fall asleep. My baby has never cried for more than a minute, so hearing that broke me a little.

I hung up and drove down to be with him. When I got there, he was still hungry. He ate 2 more oz and then nursed from me for about 15 minutes. My poor baby just wanted to be held and fed. I hate that he is still in there.

Through all of this, I’m learning I don’t have control over everything. I need to be more patient with life and how things unfold. I expected a healthy, full-term baby, but things didn’t go the way I imagined.

The good news is Sammy should be coming home on Saturday. Tomorrow they plan to take him off oxygen completely, and they already took him off his C-PAP today at 10. If everything continues to go well, I should be bringing him home by Saturday afternoon.

He is eating so well and already up to 6.7 pounds.