Past Family Blog post

I have been working hard on writing my book, and I pulled out my old journals and stumbled upon some of my grandparents' writings. Yesterday I was a wreck reading through things, as they were literally answering my questions through their writing. That is one very important reason I feel so driven to write my history for the kids. I have my journals they can read when I die, but they are all mixed up. I want them to be able to see it in order as it played out. It's been so ha

Riding in Cars with Boys written back in 2001! I was wrong about everything! I did see the movie with Grandma, but I thought it had been a movie I saw while pregnant. It was not. I had just had my miscarriage about 3 months prior. Devun was nearly 3, and I was just a young mom with daddy issues. This is what I wrote: 10-20-01Today we went and saw Riding in Cars with Boys. I cannot stop crying. She lived such a sad life, I know, but what I can’t stop thinking about was the fat

Reading these journals is bringing back memories I haven't thought about in years. I came across an entry from October 14, 2001. "Well good news! Today I found out that I am pregnant." You can practically feel the excitement jumping off the page. I was already figuring out due dates, planning trips, talking about finding a job, and imagining this baby that wasn't even here yet. Then three days later I wrote: "I guess I am NOT pregnant." Talk about emotional whiplash. I rememb

This little guy turned 5 yesterday. It’s hard to believe that five years ago he came into this world weighing just 5 pounds and blue as a smurf. The entire labor process, I knew something was wrong. I even asked Anthony to give me a blessing because his heart rate stayed around 125, which felt low to me. Then with every contraction, it would drop even lower. When he was born unresponsive, they called a code blue and suddenly the room filled with nurses. Everyone was working o

My heart is breaking over the loss of my Grandpa Joe. He was— and always will be—my “bonus” grandpa. He didn’t have to show up for us, but he did. Over and over again. We were so blessed to have him in our lives when we moved into our home on Lincoln Drive. He was there for all the little things, but also for the big ones. When I was a stay-at-home mom and didn’t have much adult interaction, he was someone I could always talk to. He kept me from going crazy during those long

About a month ago, Aubrey and Ava came home from the store with a tiny kitten. The whole family instantly fell in love. Devun called her his “desk cat” because she would climb up onto his computer while he was doing his MTC work and just lay there with him while I was at work and the other kids were at school. After Devun left, she and Benny became inseparable. They would play together all the time—she would even play catch with him. The two of them really loved each other. S

This world is getting crazier and crazier every day. This morning Anthony went fishing for a little while, and when he got home we drove to Lowe’s because his mom heard they were hiring. We figured we would go put in some applications… but unfortunately they aren’t hiring at this location right now. Huge bummer. While we were there, we also tried to find more tile so we could finish a few things around the house. Of course, they no longer sell the tile we already have and are

Dr. Appointment I had my 36-week checkup yesterday. I had a whole list of complaints, but honestly the biggest one was all the cervical pain I’ve been having just from moving around. Deep down, I was really hoping that when the doctor checked me he would say the pain was because I was dilating. That honestly would have made my day. Instead, he checked to see if there was an infection. No infection, which is good because I was worried about that too. But… my cervix isn’t dilat

Today I had my routine doctor visit. Baby sounded good on the monitor, and the doctor’s words were, “Only 6 more weeks to go.” He had me schedule another appointment for four weeks from now, and I also “get” to have another ultrasound. Because of all the blood tests and results we’ve had during this pregnancy, they want to keep an eye on the baby’s growth since apparently there’s a chance growth could slow down at this point. So they’ll be calling me to schedule that appointm

Nov 23rd, 2011 Today we drove to Oakland to see a specialist for another ultrasound. Debbie came down from Utah to be with me, and Anthony was there too. Without doing the amnio, they can’t completely rule out Down syndrome. But I just can’t risk her life for a test. The miscarriage risk was quoted at 3–5%, around a 1 in 200–300 chance. Since we already know we are keeping her no matter what, there just didn’t seem to be a point in putting her through that risk. There are oth

Aubrey has always loved babies. When Sam was only a few weeks old, I put him in his swing while I jumped in the shower really fast. When I came back out, Aubrey had somehow managed to move him from the swing onto the big blanket where he did tummy time on the floor. I never even heard him cry. Looking back now, it makes me cringe imagining my tiny 2½-year-old carefully lifting her baby brother out of the swing and placing him on the floor. Thankfully he was perfectly fine… bu

I got my house REALLY clean today! I can’t believe how much more energy I have now that I’m not throwing up all day. I started in my room, then cleaned the girls’ room, the boys’ room, the front room, and the family room. The kitchen was still looking pretty good from Saturday, but I touched it up a little too. No rest for me today! After that, I made a quick trip to Costco and only bought what we NEEDED. I still somehow spent $200, but honestly that’s WAY better than I norma

Finding My Way Back to Books I remember when I used to love sitting on the couch with a good book. I was part of a book club back then. I always read the books, but I never really clicked with the girls. So, I would usually skip the actual meetings. These days, I love listening to books while I edit photos. I honestly wish I had more time to actually sit down and read again. Funny enough, I’m currently in THREE different book groups. But after Christmas, we all kind of stoppe

Tomorrow I go for my first of many doctors appointment. It will be me filling out a lot of paper work and all the lab work that needs to be drawn for the first trimester. WOW this pregnancy is going to take forever I guess when you “know” your pregnant cat conception you had an extra 3 weeks to add to your due date. What I am feeling so far with this pregnancy? So so tired. I can sleep all day if the kids would let me. To bad they are way to loud and need lots of attention. I

Sorry I never wrote anything about my doctor’s appointment… honestly, there really wasn’t much to write about. I filled out a bunch of paperwork and signed up for a blood study, so at each appointment I’ll donate about two teaspoons of blood. I swear they already took a TON of blood for all the lab tests. So far everything has come back normal, which is what I expected. Did you know that in the state of California you HAVE to do an HIV and Chlamydia test during pregnancy? It’

Our trip was great! The only downside was that I had to eat every two hours to keep from getting sick. So other than Anthony and Brad thinking I was a pig the entire trip, we had an amazing time. The ocean was so clear, warm, and beautiful. We spent at least twenty minutes every day out in the waves until they completely beat us up and we had to get out from exhaustion. I seriously have bruises to prove it. But riding the waves on our little Costco body boards was so much fun

I’m sitting at my friend Bernie’s house waiting for my hair dye to kick in while she picks up around the house. She does my hair every six weeks because my hair grows insanely fast, but this time we decided to do highlights for summer and see if it stretches the time between coloring appointments. My gray comes in FAST. It’s funny — on my TikTok and IG (@durstfamilychaos), someone commented that I’d look ten years younger if I dyed my hair, and another person said I looked li

I don’t know what it is—every time I sit down to write about our life, the baby starts crying. I just sat down, and sure enough, he began to cry. Luckily, Anthony is home now and was able to take him off my hands for a few minutes. The past few weeks, Anthony has been busy working on a “big” project, which left me home alone with the kids from 5 a.m. until around 1 a.m. Those were very long days, but thankfully the project only lasted eleven days. As exhausting as it was, we

He is home! We were able to pick him up today (Sunday) at 9 a.m., although computer issues ended up delaying our discharge until around noon. It was a long wait, but I’ve learned a lot of patience through this journey. I was so grateful to have my aunt and sister here helping with the kids during that time. The last two days he was in the NICU also gave me something special—I was able to spend one-on-one time with each of my other children, really talking with them and bondin

Last night was the first night I’ve slept at home in a week. I thought I would be able to rest, but I kept hearing the baby’s oxygen machine beeping in my head—baby is still in the hospital, but my mind just wouldn’t let it go. I did wake up at 9 and called the NICU. He was feeding at the time, and his next feeding was scheduled for noon. About 45 minutes later, I got a call from the NICU saying Sammy was still crying. He had already eaten 3 oz but wouldn’t settle or fall asl