Idaho trip 2026

I can't believe it's already July.

Anthony took his first week of vacation so we could come to Devun's house and help him get his home and yard back under control. We've spent the last few days working hard, tackling weeds and cleaning everything up. We did run into a little problem with the house itself, but we'll deal with that tomorrow.

Today, though, is all about family.

Ava came up last night from Utah. Marissa and Zuriel drove in from California. Then, of course, there's Aubrey, Anthony, Sam, Will, Charlotte, and me. We're only missing Zack, Emily, and Caleb. Hopefully next year we'll all be together.

We're staying in a cute little rental about a mile from the Snake River. Today we rented a boat for the whole family and a three-person jet ski. After spending the last two days pulling weeds and working hard, we're taking a day to relax and make some memories.

Yesterday I drove to Provo, about three and a half hours from Devun's house, to have lunch with Marissa, Zuriel, and Ava. After lunch, they headed to Idaho, and Ava did my hair. She's going to school at Paul Mitchell, and I think she did a great job!

On the drive back, my CarPlay decided not to work, which meant I had three hours alone with my thoughts.

I found myself thinking a lot about the book I'm writing.

There are memories that come easily, but there are also so many pieces that are still missing. I know there are parts of my childhood that I've blocked out. I want this book to tell the whole story, not just the parts I can easily remember. Because of that, I've decided I'm going to start EMDR therapy to help process those memories and hopefully make the missing pieces whole.

I also want to work through some of the things from my marriage. I want to heal—not just for this book, but for myself.

Growing up with a mother who was bipolar and addicted to just about everything was incredibly hard. It shaped so much of who I became. As a child, watching TV shows where I saw pieces of myself in the characters helped me feel a little less alone.

That's what I hope this book can do for someone else.

If someone reads my story and realizes they're not alone... if it helps even one person feel seen... then every difficult memory will have been worth writing.

It took me 36 years of living in fear before I finally stepped away from my mom. Making that decision wasn't easy, but it gave me something I hadn't felt in a very long time.

Freedom.

Even so, I know I still have memories I need to work through. I want to finally heal those parts of myself so I can truly love who I am and fully understand my own worth.

When I get home from this vacation with my children, that's where this next chapter begins.

For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to the healing that's ahead.

And for that, I feel incredibly blessed.